We Need to Talk About Kevin

I watched this in anticipation of Ramsay’s new movie Die My Love, and out of love for movies that challenge ideas about parenthood. Unconditional love is something we are told comes with parenthood, especially motherhood, automatically, despite the overwhelming evidence that it doesn’t. One glance at any society, one glance at literally any family, is enough to see that there is absolutely no guarantee that you will love your child or that your child will love you. At all, not to mention unconditionally. Children are conditioned to believe that, deep down, all parents love their children, even when they clearly don’t. And parents have to believe that, too, especially when they have a child in hope that that love will compensate for whatever else they are missing in life, and this movie portrays that brilliantly. There are too many layers to fit into one review, but here’s a thought about the horror aspect of the story — what if your child was a terrible person? As pieces of the story fall into place, we are looking for an answer together with Kevin’s mother. What could have been done? Who’s to blame, if anyone? Why is Kevin the way he is and why the fuck does no one talk about him? Not the focus of this movie, but the question that affects most parents in real life might be equally terrifying — what if your child is not a terrible person, but does a terrible thing? It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries: every terrible person is someone’s child. But not mine. The only thing that horrifies me more than demon-children are parents in denial. Again, not covered in this movie, but the “my child would never—“ phenomenon must be studied and teachers deserve much higher pay. Now I’m just putting my mixed thoughts out here but I’m having them because that’s what a good movie does, I suppose, and this one does it in some many ways: with its smart structure, writing, acting, and maybe most importantly, bold imagery that keeps drifting between brutal and tender. This sensibility is what stunned me in her You Were Never Really Here and I’m excited to see what will happen with Die My Love.